I always figure someone really spectacular looking and well-groomed is not a client, they're a drug salesperson - saves me a lot of heartache! but really, it's the heart of my problem - does T like the other more than me? I can't be a cute fat girl, I wish I could - and he asked me why not, and we started working on that. I do FEEL more beautiful now, not related to my weight - not how I was raised. It's all fodder.