Dear T,
In 6 hours I will be sitting in your office. I haven't prepared like I wanted to. Last night was a bad night. My soul feels heavy today. I am not sure I can share all that with you. I am worried you will just start back in on my distorted feelings about that relationship. For me those feelings are real. The loss hurts. I don't want to share that with you because I don't want to loose that hurt. It is all I have left from a time of life where I actually had hope. I think we'll just talk about work and skirt the entire issue. I am not ready to trust you with that. I don't know if I will ever trust you with that pain.
Me