My alcoholic drinking was an attempt to forget a life full of hurt and loss. I drank myself senseless and when I regained consciousness several years later, I still had the reasons I drank in the first place to deal with.

IDK whether this is anything like what's keeping you from getting "back to life," but though I'd mention the possibility.

Drinking is so often just self-medicating--so addicts need to figure out what it is we're medicating with drink/drugs and find a healthy way of coping instead.

Roadie