((((1tash1)))),

I agree with Leed here. It sounds to me like your wife is spoiled and never really communicated with you all those years. Sometimes women forget that if a man is the main provider, he has lots to think about, a lot of responsibility and worries. And women tend to forget that men think differently and don't always understand the girly stuff and often feel left out even.

Women tend to get a mind set of how mr white knight should be and if they don't get it they can stew. Men do their best many times and have no idea what that mr. white night picture is in the wife's mind unless she communicates.

Also, you may be right, your wife may be menopausal and if that IS the case, women CAN be miserable during this time. It sounds like she is somehow venting how imperfect things were/are for her and not seeing WHAT SHE REALLY HAD AND SHOULD HAVE APPRECIATED. This time in a womans life is very difficult because their hormones REALLY change and it skews their emotions so much. It often comes on with a gradual drop in estrogen that is a major part in how women feel in the emotional department. Most men get very confused by this sudden dragon lady that used to be calm and outgoing and basically happy, even sexually. So if this IS what your wife is entering, the stages of menopaus, try to be patient, not all of this is her fault.

Make sure you ask about this in therapy so your wife can hear it. Maybe your wife needs to have her estrogen levels checked and visit the OBGYN.

I am sorry, it sounds like your wife is at a time in her life where her children are getting ready to leave the nest? The teen years in children can be a subconscious reminder to the woman that her prime has passed and many women can go through some kind of grieving process thinking they didn't get all their little house with a white picket fence dreams and expectations filled somehow. If a woman has daughters that are dating and beginning their adult lives, they can be reminded of how that time for them is long gone and they often DO grieve and get a bit angry about what they didn't get and can fail to relish what they did get.

Keep your chin up, don't get to a point where you just absorb all this anger being thrown at you. I can see you are feeling very lost and hurt, don't sink into that ok?
It sounds like you tried very hard and are just at the place where all your WIFE'S disappointments are being blamed on you right now.

A GOOD Marriage councelor will see through a lot of this and point the right picture out to your wife in time. Right now your wife has the floor and is speaking out, good that she is doing that, better than having a wife that says nothing. Your wife is giving the therapist some things to respond to. And you should do the same. This is about facing realities as a COUPLE, don't take this as a beating, though I know it can be hard to hear all this. This is not ALL you, remember that.

((((Hugs)))))
Open Eyes