Wow, it does sound as if he's changed. Has he had a full medical check up recently? It really does sound as if you're talking about two different people. It may also be that he's fallen into this mode due to his mother's living with the two of you; there may be some past issues between them (abuse?) that you don't even know about. I can understand your not wanting to leave when your history with him was not always so bad but see the therapist at least to learn to manage the stress inside the home for now. You may still end up leaving, but it will give you the strength/resolve to handle such a big move if it ever comes.