I couldn't sleep last night and replied at 2:30AM pacific - straight from the heart - and lost my entire reply Meh. (OE, I forgot to click the little button to remember me)

First, thank you for such kind, thoughtful responses. And especially encouraging me to share in my journey. I really appreciate that!

Hi ((((Crew))))! my self esteem was non-existent. It is now low (which is an improvement!). I have really been working really hard with my T.

I do think people take advantage, and in the past, that has definitely been the case; however, in this case, I am a little wiser, with a little more self-esteem, in a higher position...

...it's just a couple of really rude, rogue Alpha women with no sense of common sense, etiquette or manners. They were never taught teamwork and that is what our firm is all about. I have nooo idea how they made it into this office, but if they continue, I doubt it will be for long if they keep it up.

They are completely out for themselves and don't care about how their actions affect others. Also they are very sneaky and manipulative. UGH! The worst.

Unfortunately, I am seeing, too, one of them isn't the brightest bulb in the box (sad but true). They just came onboard to the office recently: the main instigator is less-than-bright-gal's supervisor, so birds of a feather...

I would LOVE to treat them the way they are treating me but I just cannot sink that low. I know that sounds weird but I don't have it in me to do some of the horrible things they are doing

For instance, I realized last night (reason for no sleep) one of them charmed the head of IT to give them access to my computer, and they were manipulating my office calendar! I kid you not!

(I caught it though and have been dealing with it all day).

Not the smartest thing to do. At this point, I think it's just a matter of giving them enough rope...etc etc.

I also have been asserting myself more at the office in general and some of the other "users" and "troublemakers" are NOT liking it. They were the ones that encouraged me to stand up for myself, and now that I am, they aren't liking it very much They are brooding and pouting and sort of ignoring me. Which is fine.

((((OE)))) my Wise PC Friend I think they are just jockeying for "position" with me, because for some reason they feel as if they need to out-do, out-shine, out-whatever me.

And frankly, I just don't care. They can shine all they want. I welcome it. Truly. I want them to do well. But for some reason, they fight me on every single thing. It's like dealing with 3 year olds constantly.

I just continue to not take the bait (although it KILLS me inside and some days are definitely worse than others). I mean, I get so exhausted and down, I automatically default to SI (which is not good at all). But working with it with T! And staying safe.

No matter what they do, they cannot run me out of town. I do have seniority over them, as well. But I choose to not "use" that unless it gets really nasty. The computer thing DID go over the line and they both know they are in the doghouse right now and are being watched (along with the charmed IT guy). It's unfortunate they are being much more cooperative since they realize they were "caught".

I just am trying to go about my business and paint the town completely grape PURPLE!

I am so tired.