Wow!!you all give me tears to my eyes lol ,grasping the moment is really tough for me cause I really thought, I had a perfect marriage,I got blind sided by all this at once never had a clue of her being so miserable not a clue she never even told me she held everything back from me and I was so open and honest to her I feel so so stupid, that is beating me down bad never never expected anything like this at all wow was I stupid and blind but I was happy lol sounds terrible but I was so proud of my family and all we have accomplished together in 22 years I was blessed ,built a new home,owned extra lands,owned a camp site for family, pools bands entertainment all kinds of family based things to do,no money issues at all made mistakes with money early in are marriage but no issues of that now pretty well set wow, is like nothing matters now really scary feeling to actually have to go through all this. The counselor we have she is very good I believe she is very understanding ,I believe like you said to start I think it has to be my wifes side to get feelings and everything out on the table for somewhere to begin to rebuild, I feel it is what I am getting out of the meeting anyway but I might be wrong and just getting my butt kicked,I do try to express my feelings as much as I possible can but I am still in shock over all this ,is really hard for me to be open I come from a very small family. We have multiple marriage meetings to go to,so will have to see how things go for now.Might be a start of menopause is just so weird,wow she like went cold on me over night she says is a build up to the counselor god she has walls up on me so bad it is scary she could be that hurtful to me I never ever deserved this god she was my best friend not only my wife it hurts to breath even thinking she could do this to me,I trying to listen apparently I never did I trying anything to save my marriage, my out look on everything has totally changed cause of this, I just trying to find a medium we can both agree on but no luck yet,I am still singled out and alone and the bad guy. Counselor kinds reacted as expected to my wifes comments ,I thought she really did her best to stay neutral I felt,hard to explain how it went. It was very helpful and hurtful to here what problems I have and did not even know about them. I hoping for the best on my part anyways.I feel as a couple we have to try and save what we have built together as a family. To me this is a start to go forward not backwards is my thoughts. Thanks for the support hugs to all of you