He sounds like a grumpy old man. What is chewing his butt? You are trying to be proactive and get care for yourself, and it sounds like he is taking it as an insult from you, that you're saying he has been slacking off. Which you were not saying at all, you just happen to have these good r/s with these people, which he should be praising you for accomplishing, not dumping on you about! So it sounds like maybe he is feeling guilty that he has been remiss in his duties towards you.

My T always "announces" now to me that he is going to sound defensive, because I always laugh at him when he does. Why would I care about his being defensive towards me? Isn't that the most ridiculous thing? They have all the power! Plus I always picture him as a 6 yr old boy when he gets like that - well, that's how mature that defensiveness is. I would say, don't let your T's little hissy fit or guilt derail your getting the help you need at this point. What is up with him - tell him to man up, sheesh.