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I was doing well for a while but I can feel these bad thoughts creeping up on me again. sigggh. where to begin.
-I feel like everything is falling apart and I don't know why.
-sooo many things on my mind at the moment. not only is my work going out of business and I have to find a new job but school is overwhelming at the moment. I can't seem to do anything right when it comes to friends and family either. Its like im surrounded by this cloud of continuous drama and stress. Im blinded by it and I can't get out.
-I've come to find that I hate myself too. I feel like nothing I do is right. I don't want to get up in the morning. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to work. I don' want to go out. I don't want to talk. Hell, I can't even find it in me to get help outside of the internet. ( why is it sooo hard for me to talk to someone??? to just open my mouth and say something! but I feel like I physically can't. It makes no sense to me.)
-I hate the way I look. I hate the way I act. I hate the way I shut everyone off and lock my feelings inside. I hate that im afraid of opening up. I hate that i'm sooo self conscious. I hate that I always feel inferior to others. I hate how I always feel guilty. I hate looking in the mirror and all I see anymore is how i'm not worth much.
Not really much point to this but these are all thoughts that have been running through my head (REPEATEDLY) and I had to get them out somewhere. sorry for the never ending venting.
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"If love was a raindrop, i'd send you a shower. If a hug was a second, I’d send you an hour. If a smile was water I’d send you the sea. If you needed a friend, I’d send you me"
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