I have a wonderfully sensitive, caring, intelligent 8yr old boy. He is G3/4 split but testing at G6/7. Since JK there have been issues at school with him refusing to work etc. The school he goes to is a very small town and his first teachers are the typical clicky mean girls from HS.....one is JK the other SK and as far as I am concerned they labeled him between the two of them from the jump. For 3 years I had been called into the school and ? about everything from what I feed him, when he goes to bed (7pm everynite) the list goes on and on. The whole time following/believing every suggestion/accusation they threw at me. I mean they are TEACHERS after all, they are smarter than me when it comes to children....Right.
I have to mention here I also have 3 other kids two older girls 12 and 10 and one younger daughter who's 5, none of these behaviors/issues have ever occurred. They where all raised exactly the same way by the same person, ME. I also understand that he has a labeled(disability) but that shouldn't change how I raised him so why ? me about him and not the two older siblings...just saying.
This has continued for years, to the point where the school called CAS on me stating that I was abusing him(set my insecurity to an all time high). CAS came and left with NO doubts as to my parenting....which made me feel a little better but of course I still ? everything about myself as to what did I do to make them believe that I could/would. CAS worker did say how ever that the schools do need better training in what is a need for CAS and what is not.
I believe strongly in teaching my children that there are jobs in life you HAVE to do and at home it works...I know before anyone says it the poor teachers are over worked ....blah blah blah.....Teachers back when I went to school had twice as many students and way less resources than they enjoy now(just saying) most teachers are wonderful not knocking the profession as a whole just the lazy ones like some of the dingbats he's had. One good teacher he did have unfortunately had a baby and went on maternity, happy for her but miss her dearly she got him and was great in all aspects. The other one left for another school and is very missed by him and me.
He had been doing well this year, until the above mentioned teacher left for maternity....now he has what seems like a new graduate (again good teacher just not prepared I think for this ongoing situation) and an EA (who royally sucks, she seems to think she is the way, the light, the only option in parenting skills)
Here is a letter I received from her (EA) today:
"A has homework as he chose to have free time activity instead of participating & the opportunity to work with me in the learning center. By the time he did arrive he only had ½ hr."
I mean really an 8yr old given the choice to work or play, what the hell did she think he would choose. Is it only me or does this seem really stupid on her part. She has only 2 children in the learning center with her and she is assigned to help them I thought get their work done. The other boy is autistic (don't know much about autism, but he is just a busy but wonderfully typical 8yr old boy like my son, who has spent time in our home)
I have insisted from JK that it be enforced that he is not the one in charge they are......to me it seems like he's running the show. I have been TOLD that I need to meet with his teacher and EA. I am not a single parent but I am doing this alone....my husband is not a support when it comes to this as he is emotionally clueless. Great Daddy just not so good with the parenting end, my fault as I have always just dealt with it.
I feel intimidated by these people when in front of them. I have social anxiety disorder and know what I want to say but am such a coward, when it comes to being strong I am afraid that I will come across as a ***** or start to cry and look weak.
I need help and don't know what to do. I am ready to pull him out of school and keep him home schooled except I worry what that will do to his social abilities & it scares me. I think that at this stage social is just as important as education. He is such a friendly, popular little man he's just stubborn and needs a firm push to do what he needs to.
I will say and am not apologizing to Anyone for this - I have spanked him only after a warning and its always a smack on the backside and off to his room. I also talk to him afterwards and remind him that he is a good kid and that we love him but that neg behaviours are not acceptable. My other kids I have are typical kids and are/have been taught the same way.
My son does have a great regular counselor who says he is just a wonderfully/typical boy. So what am I missing.
So sorry for the long letter I am just so frustrated and not sure what to do next. I have followed all of the school's recommendations...above and beyond yet they continually ignore mine then whine when its not working.
Its 4am here and I can't sleep due to the stress of it all. Am so ready to snap, I'm not sure, mentally I can take much more.

Sorry again I just needed to write and have someone, anyone listen and maybe show/tell/advise me of something I am not seeing here.



Thanks in advance guys, even just for being able to post this.
Nams