My Support Forums - View Single Post - 8yr old boy ADHD

bipolarmedstudent · May 03, 2012, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nams

Thanks so much for the quick response and the book suggestions, I will give those a try.
1. Yes this past year
2. No I was told that it wasn't recommended for him.
3. The only other school is about 20mins away and has a really bad reputation for drugs & as for a private school the are too $ for us unfortunately.
4. He did have some disruption issues before diagnosis. Over the last year he just doesn't want to do the work in school.

He has a board paid for PC in class but even with that he has the choice if he wants to do it or not. I feel like they have just given up on him. He is so smart and I really hate to see him fall between the cracks as THAT kid.
I am just so lost as I know what works for me is to just make him do it, he does argue with me, but he knows that I just wont back off as it is a NEED not just something I want him to do. I have tried to get them to listen to me and they just treat me like I know nothing at all, after all I am not educated in Children they are - sarcasm and how to help them grow. It's frustrating as I have a hard time being strong and stating my opinions and always feel lorded over as it is always just Me in meetings with two or more teacher, EA occasionally Principal.
Hubby has gone with me to one meeting and he sat there and said nothing at all not even reacting to them and their finger pointing.
I really need to know that I am not being a ****** that I am trying to get them to listen to what I Know works for me & more importantly Him.

Thanks again
Nams

A few thoughts:

Is there a gifted program in your area?

As for the other school (the one that is 20 minutes away and has a reputation for drugs) -- I still think it is worth visiting the school and meeting with the principal/teachers there. You have nothing to lose by exploring your options. You may just find that the teachers are more understanding there. You won't know until you meet with them and see.

The other problem -- that he has choices, and the teachers aren't forcing him to do his homework. My thought is that you can step in and force your son to do him homework. Give your son's teacher a day-planner, and have her or your son fill it out every day at school, so you know exactly what your son is doing every hour of the day. Then every evening, review the day-planner with your son. For every hour that your son spent doing work, reward him (give him 'bonus points' that he can trade in for privileges or toys). For every hour that he goofed off or chose to play, subtract bonus points, and make him complete the work at home, as well as additional homework you assign him as a disincentive.

That way when he makes the choice at school between doing work and goofing off, he has a clear incentive to choose work (he gets bonus points), and a clear disincentive to choose play (he loses bonus points, and he knows he has to do EXTRA homework when he gets home). This will give you some element of control over what your son does at school. It will also teach your son delayed gratification, which a lot of kids with adhd struggle with. And it will teach him that his choices have consequences (good and bad).

Don't 'punish' him for choosing to play. Just make it clear that that choice comes with consequences (lost bonus points and extra homework). He is free to make the choice to play at school if he wishes, but he will have to deal with the consequences of that choice when he comes home from school.

Hope that idea helps.