Thanks again for the quick response. There is a daily journal that goes to school and home everyday. I never thot of the hr by hr idea, that may just be a viable option. When A comes home from school with notes/homework there is a discipline first and foremost of losing his privileges such as loss of his pc time..and his homework has to be completed before anything else gets done for him....he never gets notes home about positive behaviors that would be helpful on all ends. I see no note means to me that he had a good day and I always ask him. He is pretty honest about getting in trouble even the small stuff.....If I hear no neg I make a point of letting him know how good he is doing and that we are proud of the changes that we see in general. He is a very smart kid and is very sensitive so positive encouragement is huge around here. He knows that if he does his work at school and home he gets his time on the PC or DS these are used on a reward system he earns the time in various ways. He knows that with every note he loses time. My personal thinking is that they have given up on bothering to try with him with there being No Positive reinforcement that is clear to me.

I did try to reward him with a reward system as suggested by the school for 5 good days in a row.....this encouraged him and he had a great week. The 2nd week again good week. Week 3 we talked about the reward and he decided it was to be an even bigger reward. When I explained to the EA what was going on she suggested that no matter what his request he was improving in class and that we continue with this path. Week 4 was outrageous he asked for $75 toy.....I explained to him that this was just not fair or possible and that he needed to rethink another option. When I explained this to the EA again she suggested that it could be very hard for them at school if I decided to stop this plan. So I stopped it, his behaviors stayed low key for while. Shortly after this was when they called CAS on me.

I am not sure what to do anymore......some tell me a firmer hand, some tell me positive every step of the way, others tell me that this is my doing due to not enough discipline, others tell me that a smacked bottom is too far. Its hard enough to be a parent, but to be one who has a child who is labeled already and feeling every step of the way like I am inept and failing him and myself.....I have honestly just about had enough, my son is being failed all round it seems. I just want to help him, I don't care about the teachers in this anymore, they get their paychecks and go home at night feeling all educated and superior while the phone calls I get are over the line telling me
- put him to bed earlier - his bedtime is 7pm every school night, any earlier than that is lazy parenting on my behalf.
- he is not eating the right foods - 4 meals a day each with 4 food groups, no pop except maybe on on weekends with lunch.
- that I need to do more reading with him as I am failing him in that aspect - we read every night
- that he is a very insecure angry little boy and he needs to be medicated - this in G1
- that I need to spend more time with him - I spend every minute I am not at my job with them...if not reading, feeding, doing homework we are playing together or snuggling - which he dislikes - but he obliges me because he knows it makes Me happy.
and the notes are more of the same negativity that I get home leave me feeling frustrated, angry, incapable, scolded and judged.
The other school is not an option the reputation of this school in general is bad...there has been all kinds of things happen at that school, with students including death threats, bomb threats and the police are at the school every day, not a good image for a public school in a small town. When I did call them they requested that I have him re-evaluated by their personnel and request medication for him, so they could figure out where to place him.
I know I sound like I am rattling on but I am just so frustrated and can't talk to anyone else right now.