At this point I think your best bet is to read the books I recommended to you (or others) and get ideas on how best to discipline him. I don't have kids myself (I'm only 23), so my ideas are just that...ideas. I've never actually parented a kid. But, I do have adhd, so I'm trying to give you advice that I think would have worked on me when I was a kid.
I do think the reward (points) system is a good idea, but it needs to be a reward per hour, rather than a reward for an entire week of good behaviour. A child his age, and especially a child with adhd, is not going to have the kind of long-range planning and motivation to be good for an entire week at a time. Break it down into smaller blocks, so he gets a reward every day.
I like the points system because he can save up his points and trade them in for something really good. You can set it up something like:
For every hour that he does his work he gets 1 point
For every hour that he plays at school instead of doing his work he loses 1 point
10 points = $1
5 points = 1 hour of television or video games
Something like that. Obviously you would need to adjust the point values based on what works best for your family. Most important of all -- KEEP IT CONSISTENT. That's the CRITICAL aspect. Consistency.
As for the teachers -- ignore them. Don't let them get to you. You sound like a great mother who is doing her absolute best. Kids with adhd are difficult to raise. But you will get through it and the reward of seeing him reach his potential will be worth it.
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age: 23
dx: bipolar I, ADHD-C, tourette's syndrome, OCD, trichotillomania, GAD, Social Phobia, BPD, RLS
current meds: depakote (divalproex sodium) 1000mg, abilify (aripiprazole) 4mg, cymbalta (duloxetine) 60mg, dexedrine (dexamphetamine) 35mg, ativan (lorazepam) 1mg prn, iron supplements
past meds: ritalin, adderall, risperdal, geodon, paxil, celexa, zoloft
other: individual talk therapy, CBT, group therapy, couple's therapy, hypnosis
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