For 23 you have some darn good advice. I really do appreciate your help I will give the reward system another try with your ideas in place. Thanks for saying what you did you have no idea how nice it is to hear from someone who doesn't love me. I know it sounds silly but for me I feel like they have to tell me these things because its what you do when you love somebody, make them feel better even if you don't know the right answer.
He has such great things ahead of him (he wants to be an Engineer, he always laughs when I ask him why he wants to drive trains, "not that kind Mom, Duh" lol) I just want whats best for him and knowing that you have ADHD and understand it, helps, as every other well meaning person has an opinion and that's appreciated but if you haven't been there, dealt with it you don't know what the helpful/right answers are....including me, research hasn't really helped other than to explain what it is and other than that I am clueless as to what he needs to help him. I have all kinds of advice and its all different.

Thanks again you really have helped me feel a little less frustrated and a little more understood.

Hugz
Namaste