I know it sounds totally pathetic but no one reads my posts- not here, not on any other forum. Literally no one, not even the moderators who (I assume) have to read posts to control the forum. It's another example of my being worse and unworthy of anyone's notice. It's a proof I don't deserve anything good and everyone has a negative attitude towards me. I know I'm stupid I care about this but I take everything personally and it does hurt me. I wish I lived in pre-internet times. It's like a game which rules are clear to everyone except me. I lost a 'friend' because I kept talking about such disappointments and she finally told me she has her own problems and would not care about mine. So not only some anonymous internet people but also my 'friend' are my enemies. Is that wrong to look for suport online? I understand I'm left alone to (not) cope with my issues.