Thank you for this, it's hopeful to know people who have gone through it and have come out the other end winning.
A minor part of me doesn't want to believe you, a minor part of me keeps on saying this is you, but it has to stop eventually right? I mean eventually the trips to a&e, the pain, the hiding, the fear will exhaust you and you will stop right?

You can't bare to look at yourself in the mirror because the damage you have done disgusts you, so you ignore them, pretend nothing is there. 10 years and counting and I still can't stop.