Hi Mcb4,

I can relate with what you're describing. Personally, I use sex to avoid being alone. I'm not okay with being alone, so I pretty much avoid loneliness at almost all costs. I wear different "hats", so to speak, to fit in with the man of my interest. I really do become fascinated by him & his interests ~ and then I become bored somewhere along the way.

I very often take things as my fault. So, at this point, I try desperately to push myself back into fascination again. A BIG part of me feels guilty and disgusted with myself, and another part of me is just wanting to be alone in a corner. From the outside, I appear indifferent and a million miles away, as I struggle with bringing up those intense emotions within me. I've managed to make it through negative periods of time, to have another great day. So wonderful! Then, the next day sucks. IMO, it sounds like a very similar situation ~ we just internalize it differently.

That's my perspective anyway.