I've just re read my answer...and I'm cringing....I realise that what I've said is more something that belongs in a teenage problem page....I think in a way I was almost writing to my teenage self as I went through a time when I thought I had issues, just because I used to constantly date really pushy guys and I started to fear the idea of being raped so much I avoided relationships altogether (cos it nearly happened once).

Obviously sexual trauma is something that can really impact on your life and I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through... it may take a lot of work with a therapist to overcome what has happened to you....I don't mean pretend it hasn't happened....but to acknowledge what has happened, come to terms with how you feel about it and decide how you want to move on from there.....I think it is possible that with the right help you will be able to have the relationships that you deserve to have....this doesn't have to destroy your ability to love and to ruin sex for you in the future....

I have similar issues now (not when I was a teenager....I just got sick of going out with guys who didn't care about me and were only after one thing....however I did have a couple of sexual relationships after that in my late teens early twenties and didn't have these issues.....the issues I have now are because of an experience I had (so again trauma)....and also because of a debilitating illness that caused problems for me sexually (literally/physically) and caused my libido to become non existent...and changed how I feel about my body....a relationship I had ended because of this (because it just became stressful) when I tried to explain this to people they didn't understand and dished out simplistic teenage problem page advice as though they thought I was a naive inexperienced little virgin when I was far from it.....I stopped wanting sex because of a health issue and how it had completely affected my body, my libido, my sexual confidence, my body image etc etc.....and it changed me.....it was so frustrating to hear this "advice" from people....so I really am sorry about what I wrote and how I completely misread and misinterpreted your problem.[/quote]