Its a huge post and hard to answer it all. My T has never pushed for integration. In fact she has told me that it may well be impossible, she has said that it may well be that we will always live together, but in a more co-oprative way. Ive discovered just about evry traumatic memory and i am aware of what happened. But the others inside me are still there, they still get hurt and triggered when i least expect it. And like you i rarely switch, when it used to be a way of life not too many years ago.

It really takes quite a drama to get to switching now and I sorta feel its became a learned response, one that may well be with me for the rest of my life. The trick is knowing that and accepting it.

I am also managing to draw on the parts I need, when I need them. Some parts of me have wonderful qualities and I never want to lose them