Hunny I'm really grateful for your answer. You took the time to write so much and in a such a detail and really tried to give me advice. I wasn't mad at you as much is I was mad at the other people saying you've hit the nerve

I'm sending you a lot of hugs.
Also I was not sexually abused, but have psychological trauma (maybe another type of abuse), and I think they might be connected because nothing else comes to mind that would be the reason for my sexual and relationship limitations. I think when something happens to us (any kind of traumatic event) it really changes our personality on so many levels that sometimes you don't know from where to start solving your problems. This is one big problem I find really frustrating and I'm sorry to hear you are in a similar situation.