I constantly hide everthing I'm feeling too. I'm so good at it that my last T couldn't read me, my current T can't read me and my Pdoc can't read me!

My parents are very much like what you described; they're very critical of everything I do, like to demonize everything I like and have control issues. However, what I would like to say to them would only be harmful, so I keep it to myself. I've never heard of "urge surfing," but it sounds alot like catharsis, which is really destructive. I suppose keeping those bad thoughts mental is something we have to do maintain our relationships with the people we love, no matter how much we dislike them. (if that makes any sense...)