When I was younger I tried so hard to fit in so I could make some friends. I was terrible and hated myself for it. My adolescence was extremely difficult, and filled with acting out and psychiatric hospitalizations.

Is being shy and introverted considered a normal adaptation? During my first 20 years of life, I was not this way at all. I became shy and introverted in response to all the alienation and ridicule. People were very nasty and took pleasure in hurting me. Now, I keep my distance and rarely approach anyone unless I need to or I find them interesting. This makes interaction with others more tolerable and it reduces the chance of rejection or being judged as strange.

I don't always like it but it seems to help maintain my sanity. Someday, I hope to find a better way.