Yep, that's me. I will be strong while T is gone. I will not whimper. I will not cave. I will maintain my mental equilibrium. I will hang tight and not let go. I will not need her at all. I can do it. I know I can. I have resilience. I have inner strength. Although on my own I can apply all the coping techniques I've been taught.

I can still feel my emotions but they don't need to overrun me. I will become stronger because I know I don't have T to lean on. I will be forced to dredge up my own inner fortitude. It exists. It has always existed. T has propped me up while I've learned to excavate it. I don't need her anymore - at least not for the next 2 weeks.

No matter what crises may appear, I can handle them. I am not a wimp. Wimps don't fight and continue the struggle. I will continue to fight. I can still cry and I can still feel weak, but I know I will survive. Pain has been felt before and I survived. Why fear pain so much? It's part of the human condition. Without feelings of pain on occasion, could we ever fulfill our human potential? It is with pain that we become part of the human family, that we can feel true empathy for others, that we can know compassion, inside and out.

I feel like a toddler just learning to walk. It is scary venturing out without support. I will fall. I know I will fall. I will sob and be hurt. But I will raise myself up again, just like the child trying to balance himself, and keep on going.

It will be o.k.