...thats why I post like an idiot....flood the forums....write and write and write.....! there is just so much activity inside my head ....computerising me as a failure and slamming me into a mental wall I just cannot climb over....so I gotta listen to it....and three days ago I shoved wet tissue in my ears to shut out the voices and the sounds and they went in so.. so deep it made it worse and even though I was already at the ICU and they looked inside I guess I was on suicide watch and no instruments to help me get it out? ...or just busy....got it out myself later at home..where I feel safe enough I guess....but I have to verbally tell my head to shut up! shut up! shut up!....and the whole time I am ashamed of these things I go through

DM

(don't put things in ears)