Hi and welcome to PC. Can you try walking away from the smog that's got you in this emotional tailspin? I don't mean leaving him or anything like that- I mean refocusing your mind and heart on something else that doesn't make you emotional like this. Something like a hobby or a project.
I know that's easier said then done but sometimes I think we can make things worst by fussing too much over something.
You and your husband both sound so confused. I think you may be involved too tightly in this emotionally to have a clear perspective and somehow he's getting sucked up by the momentum of it.
You know cmra,he's responsible for his own happiness, not you. Don't let him put that on you. That is unfair for him to have said that to you. To me, that just says "I'm not even going to try-I give up and blame it all on you for not making me happy"
(((((cmra))))))