Well, I have not been as involved latley b/c I am just in a really bad place once again. Anxiety really ramped up and this week has been hell. Anyways, I saw T today. Admitted to him that I have been having a lot more suicidal thoughts, and he asked if I had a plan. I was honest and said yes. So, he said.. Well, you know what we do next. Contract that I wouldn't hurt myself between now and my next appointment which is this coming Wednesday, as well as if I was immediate danger to go to 911 or if my thoughts were getting worse to call T. I of course agreed because I know the only other choice is to go to the hospital. Is it just me or do these type of contracts just seem so silly?

I mean all my T has is my nod of the head to agree to the terms. Is that really supposed to really stop me from actually following through with my plans? I mean, don't get me wrong.. I am not feeling like I am going to do anything like right now. I am just thinking about the contracts that my T and I have and have heard other people have agreed to the same kind of contract as well.. I was just wondering everyone thoughts on the matter?