My T insisted on me signing a contract that I'll stay alive. So I did. I actually signed it on paper, name and signature and all that. At first I was furious because she basically made me do it, then I thought it's silly (what can she do if I breach it, really), then I thought maybe it's some stupid legal stuff she has to have, then I labeled it BS and decided I don't have to comply because she basically forced me to sign it and forced contracts are not really valid from a legal perspective (yeah, I was that obsessed about proving it wrong and not fair). But then when very hard time came it actually helped me, because a contract (whatever form of it) is in essence a promise. And I keep my promises. At least I do my best to try to keep it. The fact that I promised T I'll stay alive kind of motivated me to do all the right things to fight all the crap in my head. So I guess I'm an example that the contract stuff sometimes actually works. Who knew...