So it happened. My bipolar cost me my first big life loss. My JOB.

I've been going through a lot of med changes, switching from manic, to depressed to hypo manic, and it caught up with me and affected my moods enough to affect my work. I got the call last night from HR that I'm off the schedule until further notice.

The most upsetting thing is my coworkers who I trusted the last three years seemed to have thrown me under the bus. I have major trust issues, and I went against my instinct and allowed myself to trust my boss like a mother. Then this happened.

Well after I got the news, I took it hard. I emailed T how much of a failure I was and a bunch of other stuff. He replied to me and was really supportive. He told me, " I believe in you, your not a failure." and later when I told him I was going to just drink myself into oblivion he emailed me and told me "stay calm, your in school, you can get a job somewhere else. Its going to work out."

I feel betrayed, and hurt. Its triggered all my abandonment issues with my T, which I had JUST made progress on.