We all know that you don't go to the per to "run away". You go because you need help (and tonight seems like a good time to go). Your friend can't understand because she is (likely) mentally healthy, and neurotypicals just don't get us. But we understand you.

Please don't hurt yourself. If you feel like you might, then go to the per and if they suggest that you should be admitted then go inpatient. Just stay safe. You're a valued member of this community, and all of us would be sad if you left and never returned.