i'm really glad that things seem a bit better in therapy now; and that you are back here and posting again. I really miss you when you aren't. I wish ..... I had some kind of words of advice that would be helpful; but that whole area is one that I'm at a loss about as well. So, my hope is that someone will be able to respond more fully (and maybe enlighten both of us). I wonder ... have you been able to talk to your T more about it since the initial conversation where she was supportive? and also, what kinds of thoughts all of this brings up for you ... seems like there's a lot to your question