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May 05, 2012, 02:19 AM
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Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: within another world not seen. built and silenced behind a wall of fear based strength......
Posts: 12,715
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(((TD))))
Thank you hon. Yes, the moon is a trigger right now for us also. So much so that I am not at home this weekend knowing that a possible visit could take place. Trying hard to stay safe and do what I need to do for ourselves. Thank you for being here and for understanding. Thank you for what you said about it will end. Somewhere I have to believe that or I am not sure I could keep pushing myself or even those within. And yes, it will for you also.
It feels as though I am floating right now, so exhausted yet afraid to fall asleep for I do not want to dream again. I feel I want to hide or run as the nights seem to go on forever. Shadows dance on the ceiling and then disappear leaving a terror I cannot escape or find the words to explain. But they are there and they mean something. Something inside me trembles and I hear the wee small cries from behind the wall, mixing with my own tears that silently fall.
The surgery is May 22, another back surgery, the second in less than two years. Fear is very high even more so than the last time. But the pain gives me no choice than to have it. I will let you know how it goes.
Please take care TD of you and know that we care. Thank you for your love and encouragement. We send it right back to you. Thank you for caring and for being here. I appreciate it more than you know.
dps
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