Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
....Another quote from the book reads, "Human physiology finds a hub not only in light, but also in the harmonizing activity of nearby limbic brains. Our neural architecture places relationships at the crux of our lives, where, blazing and warm, they have the power to stabilize.
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I don't usually find much "truth" in therapy books, because, I think, they do usually fail to incorporate our evolutionary biology. THIS, however, does. I definitely think for the vast majority of humans, the stabilizing power of other humans in synch is a powerful, instinctual, and innate aspect of being human. The documented release of both endogenous anxiolytics and hormones of "well being" indicate the potency of meaningful human interaction again and again. This can be also mimicked by interaction with animals as well. I think it is something humans were hardwired to seek and do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
Trust in the therapist is a prerequisite. "But a patient has to stomach the proposition that his emotional convictions are fiction, and someone else's might be better. Not everyone can do it. A therapist should have a sign in their office, like the minimum height for roller coasters, ' YOU MUST BE AT LEAST THIS TRUSTING TO RIDE THIS RIDE."
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Or at least willing to try.
If, again, we reduce it to basic human physiology and instinctual responses, I think it follows that not everyone will fit the mold of "suitable for therapy". I interacted with a whole lot of people, from all over the world, and I've come to the conclusion that there are those among us who are the "sentinels" - the natural loners who travel associated with the pack, but whose evolutionary "job" was to watch, warn and anticipate threats. I have a lot of this "sentinel" in me, and most of my friends joke that I should work for FEMA planning emergency responses. Yes I am prepared for the zombie apocalypse.
however, I seem to have a foot in both worlds, as I am happy alone AND with others. Did I hit the emotional evolutionary jackpot? I'm beginning to think so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
So, trust builds up while at the same time emotions released are roiling, threatening to destroy all in its path. These emotions initially are helped managed by the therapist's skill in offering valuable support and understanding. Knowing the therapist is available allows a sense of safety - that no matter what is experienced internally, help is close by.
So, when the therapist is absent and a person is still in the stage of learning about and experiencing heightened emotions, there is a fear - at least for me.
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Again, I absolutely agree with this. As infants were absolutely dependent on others for our fundamental
survival. I can only imagine (and thank god we can't remember) what it must have felt like to be hungry and rely on others to get food. We had to be dependent and trusting that food, water was coming. We had to know that help was close, very very close in fact.
However, fundamental survival is not the whole story. We also have to do this with emotions, just as you indicate in your post. We have to learn that a stable emotional attachment can be formed, that someone is close by - THERE. The therapy and by proxy, the therapist becomes the vehicle through which we learn.
Again, great post. Sounds like a great book.
Your therapist will be home soon. You can tolerate this distress. You'll be fine.