Hi Everyone,

Well, I guess I should give you a run down of my past history before I ask your advice on my current situation.

I have had alot to deal with in the past when it comes to my oldest son. My ex-husbands family has made it hard for me to be a mother to him. For years, when my son was smaller, my ex-mother-in-law made it very hard for me to hang on to him because she wanted to be the one who raised him. From the very begining she made it known that she thought I couldn't do a good enough job. She turned my son against me telling him lies like "I was the one that had to come over on my lunch break and change your diaper because your mom wouldn't do it" and "Your mother doesn't love you". She had started telling him these lies when he was 4 & 5 years old. I didn't know at the time why he wouldn't let me mother him, why he wanted nothing to do with me. My son didn't tell me until he was 11 and the damage had already been done between him and I. I was SOOOO very angry with her all those years because I knew, by the way she spoke to me, that she wanted my son for her own. She lost her middle child to a self inflicted gun shot incadent at about the same time as I was having to make the choice to let my son go and live with his father because he wanted to and there was no changing his mind. My son was only 5 at the time but after trying counceling and everything else I could think of, I had to let him go. I kept full custody but he lived with his father. Well, all those years I was angry with my-ex-mother-in-law but I also respected her and loved her. She was my mother-in-law and I felt that bond. I was a young mother and she was a very strong woman who got her way, what ever it took. Now, years later, we have mended our relationship. We both loved my son more than anything and to me that is all that matters now. Thank God we did because two weeks ago she passed away.

Well, I'm the kind of person to ALWAYS forgive and forget. The kind of person who trys really hard to be the better person and not stoop to where others are when they try and hurt me. I REALLY don't believe in revenge because I think that you're only hurting yourself when you take revenge on someone else. I've always tried really hard to take the high road and love everyone regardless of who they are or what they try to do to me. That said, I'm feeling something very different right now for a couple of new family members my son has on his fathers side. My sons grandpa has remarried as of a year ago. His new wife and her daughter are, BY FAR, the worse people I've EVER met!! I'm not exagerating either. My son ran away from his fathers house last year and wouldn't go back so his grandfather convinced him to move in with them until he felt he could go back to his fathers. At the time I was 242 miles away trying to get into school to become a vet. teck.(never made it into school, tho, I got my butt home because of this and other situations) He lived with grandfather & new wife for about 4 weeks. Durring this time his grandpas new wife would not allow me to talk to my son or see him. One night, while I was still away, my son wanted to talk to me and see me. I was talking to him on the phone and trying to set up a time to come and get him for a weekend when his grandpas new wife ripped the phone out of his hands and hung up on me. To say the least, my son was SO upset with her by this time. For me.........Well, I'd had enough!!! There had been other incadences before that with "THAT WOMAN" and this took the cake!! I don't really know this woman or her meddling daughter(other incedenses with her also concerning my son and I. Alot of things that would take to much time to explain). They don't know me or my relatiionship with my son so I don't think they have ANY RIGHT to say and do these things to turn my son against me. I mean, who ever told them it was ok to come in between a mother and her child!!

My question to you all is, is it wrong for me to hold on to my anger and not forgive and love anyway like I've always done in the past. I feel as though if I were to see these women anywhere and they were to come and try to get in my face, I would KNOCK THEIR HEADS OFF!! I am normally not a violent person. I have always believed that if you can walk away and be the bigger person then thats the way to go. With them.............I DO NOT FEEL THIS WAY. My ex-husband and I have always worked together in raising our son. We have always included each other in everything. It has always been other family members that have tried to butt in. What bothers my current husband is that I feel good about holding on to my anger and agression with these women. THERE IS NO WAY I WILL ALLOW ANY OTHER WOMAN COME IN BETWEEN MY SON AND I EVER AGAIN. Is it wrong for me to hold such anger?

Sorry so long but that was only a glimps as to what I've had to deal with lately with these women.

I'd be thankful for your advice.
Love,
Wendy