|
I really can't!
It started with just the odd pushing sharp implements into my hands and fingers. Then it became a weekly thing. Then a daily thing. Then hitting my head on things. I think I have screwed my head up with this. My eyes hurt and my head hurts and I have a wee bump on my forehead. This is a daily thing. I then punch walls and furniture. This too is a daily thing. I bite my nails...... 1 of my SW's says this is self harming in it's own way. I bite my nails all the time and have done since well forever. I have bite them till they bleed. I have used a cuticle pusher thing on my nails without soaking them in warm water and it has ripped the skin off of my nails which has bled and was really sore. I slap myself. I punch myself.
I feel so embarrassed as I am an adult. I should not be doing this and I should be able to find a way in which I can express my thoughts/feelings and emotions without hurting myself. But I don't and can't and I am scared people will think less of me for this if they found out!
I am writing here as I am hoping someone in this section will understand me as I don't feel I am understood in RL!
|