I think the more you think about it without letting yourself actually do it, the more you'll be obsessed with it. Have you talked with your T about it? Ask them! I swear it really was the best thing I ever did in my life. I was so ashamed about my sexuality and when I finally found the right T to broach the subject with I thought I'd die of embarrassment but his response was, so what? It's normal! Find someone you can play these fantasies out with. Just do it safely and use common sense. He actually told me this was known as BDSM! Not all of BDSM is the classic whips and chains and dominatrixes portrayed in popular culture (sure, lots of it is but there's a whole spectrum out there).

Anyway there are public munches and happy hours in a town near you. Go to one. It should be in a public place and there shouldn't be any actual "play" going on. Everyone will be fully clothed in a restaurant or a bar and they're there just to socialize. You may hear about upcoming events there. You may meet someone you like. This is a great place to get introduced to the community. The number one safety rule about this stuff is to find the local community and meet in public. Never, ever answer some skeezy ad on craigslist or back page and go meet someone you don't know to play in private.

What've you got to lose? Worst case scenario is you actually play it out and find out you don't like it. You can move on. But I think definitely definitely talking to your T about it is the way to go. They can help you. Don't worry! You'll be fine. You might even have fun!