I know I have read at least one of your other posts. I often read the forums when I am just waking up or just getting ready to go to sleep unless it is the weekend, so I don't always comment. You're not "worse" nor are you unworthy of anyone's notice. I do not have a negative attitude towards you. You are deserving of good things and I highly doubt you are stupid. I understand 'taking things personally' -- it's the only way to take things, really. People who say something cruel and then rail at you to "don't take it personally" are trying to distance themselves from their own cruelty. You can approximate pre-internet times by just turning off your computer; I think about that a lot except I do have a few friends I communicate with only through the internet and I would miss them. But you could have friends only in your own community, and you could go places with them and dine with them and do fun things with them if you wanted to and you had mobility or they came over to your place. I don't think it is wrong to look for support online; I do that; but I also try to offer my support to people in real life. I will look for your posts and offer what support I am able, how's that? I send you love.