So since I got triggered to freak out the other day after what must have been a flashback considering one minute I was here next minute I was reliving crap then snapped out of that and thats when the whole freak out occured. I'm glad I didn't do any damage, I now feel quite empty and numb. I guess it beats the extreme on edge feeling...but it also increases my not really giving a damn about myself, then I am more likely to be a bit more impulsive and that's gotten me into some not so great situations.

but I guess what disturbs me is, its not how I feel I really am....but then again I experiance it so often I have to wonder. And then I'm stuck wondering who the hell I really am.

I don't really know what else to say, just had to get this out...