I want to tell you that you are probably very young. Be assured that you can never take back suicide.

I was in your place a long time ago with the exact same feelings. I am so glad all my suicide attempts failed because life is so good for me now. If you kill yourself, you will be missing out on what lies ahead of you and those things could be great.

Everything with BP Disorder passes, but if you offed yourself, you wouldn't get to experience the good/happy things that your future holds for you.

I hope you start to feel better quickly. If you can, try to tune out your mom. It is very difficult to do but it seems to me that she is toxic for you right now. ((((Hugs))))