Ditto to last post.

You mention gaining 50 pounds... but that is probably the "best" side effect. Meds can turn your cognition into mush, being overmedicated will not make you briliant at school.

Maybe there are life style changes you can do for yourself that could help.... at least they are not as risky as deliberatelly overmedicating yourself. Overmedicating "works" in the way that your life still sucks, but you don't care no more. And some side effects are irreversible. Risking this all for miracle (they don't happen) is bit foolish, no offense.

You seem to equal your school with life. Look, i know it sometimes feel important. I screwed up big time with my school recently (too many factors to count) and I am trying hard to remind myself of this.

Being psychiatrist is not the only way to live. YOu can find other ways to matter and help if you don't make it here. There are other goals you can aim for.

I am not saying to give up because you are bipolar. I would never say that.... but I think that one should give thing few tries... and then move on, if it doesn't work out. We all have talents for different things and sometimes we aim for wrong thing. So what? You wouldn't be the only person who tried few things. I am sure you have other passions than psychiatry... maybe you could explore them instead of equaling your "life" to your career in this particular field.

It could be your "all or nothing" attitude contribiting to your depressions.