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And Venus, I don't equate my education with my life. I'm saying that bipolar is threatening both my career and my life. *TRIGGER WARNING* If you've ever felt sui, you know that it is not over just one thing. When I'm sui, it's because I'm a failure of a human being, because I am invisible to most people, because I have lost the ability to appreciate life (anhedonia), because I will always have to put up with these damn mood swings, because everything is such an effort.... There never is just one reason why I'd end my life. And the mood swings, particularly the recurrent depressions, add to one another and erode my psyche like acid. Eventually, I'm just going to crumble, unless someone or something neutralizes the acid.
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Does "right now" count as ever?
I can actually horribly relate, but I guess dealing with so long... I do know it passes eventually and you seemed in the OP really focused on your dream. I think this might be part of bipolar, obsessivness about goals and things and not spreading your efford efficiently.
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