Hello Bamboo!

I read through what you and bohogypsy have been discussing, and I don't mean to butt in but there are some points I agree with. First off, don't be so hard on yourself, I can't stress enough you aren't the only one with that anxiety. I say that because I recognize you from the chatroom on this forum and I didn't stick around long enough to talk to you some more and I regret that. To be honest, to prove to you that you are not alone, I will admit to you that the chatroom made me feel uncomfortable like I was being "put on the spot" as well. I guess chats aren't for a person like me.

I feel isolated too. This is the first time I have branched out and made an effort to reach out to other people. You seem to have an amazing creative mind and I say use that! Talk to other people about your ideas, anonymously at first, if you feel more comfortable doing that like I do. For example, I joined a sci-fi forum because I love all things sci-fi and I joined the book club on this site. I have facebook too, and I recently branched out by playing the games on there. This is the most social I have ever been in my life! When I was in college(s) I felt totally out of place because I was so much older than everyone else, and I never finished because of that. I felt so alienated and indifferent so I understand what you are going through. I am very quiet too, despite the length of this post (I know, lol) and have a hard time relating to people in social situations.

Hobogypsy is right. Give your T a chance. I felt group therapy was a total waste of time when I was in a program and I felt out of place even among my peers. This is the first time where I feel at home and where I belong, so use this site and use all the resources available to help you. You are doing a great job so hang in there!

Take care