It does matter & you matter & you weren't born to have the evil experiences that those around you forced you to experience. Sometimes evil/bad things happen in most peoples lives.....some are worse than others & it's important for us to survive & come through it so that we can help others who struggle with the same horrible experiences that we have experienced. I know it doesn't feel like it's possible to be strong enough to do that, but what got you through the horrible things in the first place will help get you through the healing process ....patience & kindness to yourself