Welcome to the forums (((((((((Steph)))))))))) It sounds like you are having a really difficult time and I hope you'll consider getting professional help. I know how much it hurts when our loved ones don't seem to be interested. Sometimes though, they really don't know how to help and are afraid for you.

Therapy and anti-depressants have helped me immensely. Most of us have been in the emotional place that you are now and we understand the pain. Keep talking to us and it will help.