Since you're not sure I would get help now before it becomes to hard to resist. I have fluctuated and struggled so much with my eating disorder that last time I had those feelings I gave in. I have slowly upped my intake to upgrade to ED NOS but I find that I'm gripping to my ED tooth and nail. It seems like any little thing can throw our careful little balance between recovery and relapse. I completely understand why you feel the way you do and I urge you to get help fast.