I just want to diverge a bit from what everyone else is saying to you.

I don't think it is anything to have a rupture over or that it makes your T bad, but I think it is ok for you to expect T to have picked up on the gender neutral words. It is one of those things that deviates from the norm of description. For instance, I was once talking about verbal abuse and couldn't say the word abuse. I kept saying "verbal whatever". T called me on it the second time.

I just wanted you to know that it is not necessarily ridiculous to hope or expect them to notice.