I care I wish I could ease your suffering, I'd carry it for you if I could. Honest. You're not alone, you have us, I know in the grander scheme of things, we are but avatars on your screen, but we understand, and we care, just as much as anybody irl ever could... Please keep keeping on, you'll make it thru this. Please see a dr about your physical symptoms, you need to look after yourself, you're worth it