Thank you both for your responses. I had not even considered that it could be some other disease or illness that is making me feel depressed. I am considering seeing my doctor about that now, so thank you very much for the advice.

I agree that I probably should talk to my parents about it and that they would want to know if I'm not happy but I just don't want to burden them. If it continues though then I agree that I should. I just wish I could figure it out on my own, I hate that I can't.

Yesterday I was at a cinco de mayo party. We were having a good time and then out of nowhere I started feeling depressed again for no reason. It lasted maybe 10 minutes or so and just randomly went away. I just don't understand it but the feelings are really powerful when they do come.

This morning I woke up and I'm feeling it again. I'm just so sad and I don't know why. I feel like I want to cry but I can't do that either. It just doesn't happen even though I feel so strongly like I want to.

I do drink a couple nights a week and I also had been smoking weed pretty regularly. I recently have been trying to cut back on smoking and I think that could be part of why I feel this way. The last time this happened was when I quit smoking as well. I want to stop smoking, maybe not entirely but get to a point where its very very sparingly. I was smoking at least once a day, then I met a girl and I cut back significantly (not for any real reason, just didn't feel like I needed to) but now things are getting interesting with her but I'm continuing to try to not smoke and I think the not smoking and things not going too great with her could be part of the problem.

I don't necessarily want to stop drinking because it's pretty much how I socialize with people. I do want to stop smoking so much though because I think it just masks the pain. Lately though it's not even like when I do smoke it goes away. Sometimes it makes it even worse. I just feel so confused. And it makes it so hard to do anything when my mind is so focused on how horrible I feel. I wish things were going better with the girl. It's a new relationship but she's really tough to figure out and I think we're looking for different things. I don't know what to do about that but I'm not even worried about it really. I need to figure myself out first.