Thanks for your response,
At the moment, I don't go to therapy..I mean I have, but I didn't get anywhere...but yeah if anything things like that are happening more frequently with me then they were before. But yeah I guess trying to stay grounded is not a bad idea.....just easier said then done. For one its not as though things are going very well in my life outside of what's going on in my mind so it does not nessisarly make me feel better, then I start worrying about everything going on now besides my freaking out.

But yeah uhh...its so hard to try and explain any of this, and I don't know where to go from here though I have a couple ideas I just figure feeling empty and numb isn't something that will go away....and of course since its preferable to my constant state of depression or being on edge sometimes I don't want it to go away....and that concerns me because as I said I don't exactly look out for myself at all when I feel that way......because I'm numb and don't care.

But yeah I just feel I get further and further from 'reality' whatever exactly that is the moment like who I'm around where I am but I just feel so distant from it all I might as well not be there anyways. I don't know hard to explain.