Right. IF there is an overreaction, if we feel helpless, like T "should" not have done THAT, and we feel like we can't or shouldn't have to speak up to have things be the right way - that's a whole lot of transference going on. In the here and now, we CAN work thru this, speak up, etc. In the past, nothing we could have said or done would have changed anything. They DID know better, and they did it to us anyway. But that is NOT what is happening now with T. T is not a mind-reader (as mine have said!).