I hear you. I don't have much to say to help you, but I know what you mean. Even when I do go do stuff with people, the sadness, blame, etc. is right back in place as soon as I'm driving home. I'm hoping this wears off over time, but that's just a hope.

Can you try the counseling, medication stuff. On tv they say it helps. I find it hard to even talk with someone close because they're so nice to be nice to me & I don't want to dump on them.

Hang in there, bagged. You're not alone, and you can always come here to chat.